Sunday, 22 March 2009

Detoxing & de-friending?

After writing my last blog I thought I really must detox, so naturally I spent that evening eating up the crisps & biscuits in my house. After all, they don't sit quietly in the cupboard and the only way I can cut them out from my diet, is not to have them in the house, and throwing them out is just wasteful! Obviously, J has to be cut out too, I know that, but my head has never ruled my heart where he is concerned. Just for a while, as I do not want to lose him as a friend because he is a lovely person, but I must regain perspective and hopefully some sense as far as he's concerned. I need to regain me instead of being part of an "us".

On another track, what a strange life I lead. Why do I say that? Well, I need to renew my passport, not because it's expiring, but because I'm almost out of pages. So today I was looking through the form and I need someone to co-sign, and that someone has to be a British citizen and has known me over two years. Therein lays the problem. Now, many of my friends are Italian, Australian, French etc and those that are British either are not currently around Muscat or have not known me two years. It doesn't take much to realise how transitory friends & acquaintances are in the expat world. People who come into our lives, share a portion of it, then move on, are the norm. Those people may or may not keep contact with us, especially with social devices like facebook at our disposal.

Like detoxing the body of excesses of modern life, do us expats need &/or want to keep in touch with these people? Once you move to a new country or even continent is it expedient to keep contact? Now, facebook & sites like it in some ways are a get-out as you can keep people in your friend's list, you can kid yourself you are still in contact, but really is sending a "hi" via their wall keeping in touch? Isn't it more honest to de-friend these people who you will never meet again? Obviously, for those of you who do not frequent the expat world you do not have this same problem of transitory friends, however what about that couple you met on holiday 10 years ago and send a Christmas card to? Or worse, there's that spotty guy from junior school who contacted you through Friends Reunited that you had and have nothing in common? Do you really need/want these people in your life? Will I be going through my facebook friend list or my email contacts and de-friending ex-friends? NO, because I hope one day someone will decide to get on a plane to revisit this old friend, or invite me to see them, or just reminisce about past times. Sentimental? Maybe, but I hope you my friends will continue to keep in touch even when time and distance physically parts us.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Petanque, parties & pigging out

Keeping perspective & a smile since I left our home a week & half ago has been tough. All boxes are now unpacked, although some contents have just been thrown into cupboards to sort out later. On Thursday eve I held House Warming II: the sequel, on my rooftop terrace as the weather is just perfect to be outside in the evenings. The party was a success, and I met several new people. After, J and I sat chatting for hours under the starlit Muscat sky. Yes I know, who asks their ex to their house warming just days after they've moved out? Sad people like me, who despite things not working out between us still wants to maintain a friendship. However, like a bad girly movie when there was not any contact in the following days - and why should there be? After all we are not together now- I found comfort pigging out on biscuits & crisps and bad girly movies on tv. Pathetic!

On a different note, last Saturday I got a cry for help from a friend who needed a third person to play petanque in a competition that eve. Having never played, but having watched the Spanish version in Avila, I instantly agreed and a few hours later saw the 3 of us lose respectfully to a French team. I threw a couple of ok shots, so didn't let the team down toooooo badly, I think. It was really good fun and a different way to spend an evening. Unfortunately, for me, the third player was available for the next match on Monday, so my newly aquired expertise was not needed.

Well, for us here in Muscat it's the weekend again and I've started it with a hangover from too many daiquiries. Early yesterday evening, I met a man about a job with his training company and things look quite promising, although details like hours and pay where not discussed. I left the meeting feeling quite happy as he'd loved my cv & experience, and even if I don't end up working for him it's nice to get that pat-on-a-back. What's more I can see that I do not have to teach English, which I've currently returned to in order to pay the mortgage. Yeah! So, I called a friend & we went to the Mexican, had a few too many cocktails and I'm now nursing a fuzzy head. My poor body - crisps, biscuits & bad movies when sad, lots of alcohol when happy. Maybe I should start a detox before I visit mum & dad at Easter?

Sunday, 8 March 2009

A little perspective

I was reading The Airing of Grievances on Stephanie Says yesterday (, which was a list of moans, followed swiftly by reasons to be grateful. I realised that I'd spent half the day moaning about small stuff, when I should be grateful for so much. Obviously, my attempts to follows Oprah's daily thankful lists has failed, but I shall start again with things I am thankful for this morning.
  1. Dad is on the mend and still here.
  2. I will see both mum & dad in a month when I am fortunate enough to fly home for a week.
  3. I have a job, which pays my mortgage, rent, living & enough to pay for modernising the apartment.
  4. I have great friends both here in Oman & in Europe that I can rely on.
  5. The sun is shining & it is going to be a beautiful day.
What more can I ask for?

Thank you Stephanie for adding some perspective.